The fact that this headline has any chance at all of becoming reality is all you need to know about Husky fan’s faith in the “braintrust” in charge of this search.

Fresh off a 61-10 clown stomping loss to Boise, Hill is as welcome as news of a STD. And yet many believe that our Twin Towers of Blunderdom would actually hire this guy. Before Ty got fired when the rumors were flowing about Lambo’s meet with Emmert on the future of Husky Football, the name that came out of that meet was Pat Hill. When word came that Nick Saban was advising our illustrious duo of dumbdom on the hire the name that came out was Pat Hill.

And now that we aren’t even in December the word that is coming out is that only Pat Hill will take this job.

Pat Fucking Hill.

I weep for out nation if this is true. We are already seeing the managed consent and the crushing of dissent and the excuses and apologies. Nobody ever went broke underestimiating the intelligence of the American public, yet Emmert seems hell bent on breaking the Husky Football Program to dust.

And plenty are there to still cheer him on. Let’s hope we can all laugh at this article someday. Let’s hope that someday we’ll be wrong in consistantly expecting the worst from these guys.

Let that be today.

This is your season Emmert, enjoy every last pathetic, embarrassing minute of it.

You’re so worried about Ty that you had to fuck the entire season instead of just half of it. Thanks for keeping him around and thanks for the shit head hire that you’re going to make.

Thanks for ruining Husky Football. Thanks for Todd Turner and Ty Willingham, the twin towers of fucktardedness. 

12-46 Emmert. Your legacy.

I apologize to the many fans who search for it on the front page:

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November 16, 2008

Seattle, WA

ATTN: Jim L. Mora

RE: Husky Football

Dear Jim;

An anxious nation turns its lonely eyes to you. The idiots in charge of Husky Football have done what no one would have thought was possible, they have completely destroyed the program beyond all recognition. A FUBAR of all FUBARs. The mother of all FUBARs.

First winless home season in Husky Stadium history. First in season 10 game losing streak. School record 12 game losing streak and counting. 5th straight 9th or 10th place finish and counting. 11 wins in 4 seasons. 12 wins in 5 seasons. 18 wins in 6 seasons. 25 wins in 7 seasons. 6 straight non winning seasons and counting. 5 straight losing seasons and counting.

A vile petty little man still standing on our sidelines. A man who told his players to NOT get emotional to play the game last night. A man who laughed and smiled his way through let another historic loss. A man who has been placed above the program, which has brought us to this historic failure.

A scarf wearing functional idiot of a school President who has presided over the worst era of Husky Football in over  100 years. The man whose balls can’t be found with an electron microscope who gave us this coach, this era and this season. Than man who refused to act, and then when he did act, didn’t act again, leaving this plague on our sidelines.

It’s up to you, Jim L. Mora, to take on the biggest challenge of your life. To sign the deal with the Scarf Twins. To say no to the Hawks because you have to say Yes to Husky Football. To work with the idiots and frauds at Montlake to change the entire program. To rebuild it from the bottom up and the top down.

Just Say Yes.

Please.

Sincerely;

The Husky Nation.

In other news the fighting Tracy McGrady’s of Olympia High suffered another shocking first round exit from the state play offs.

The Fading Ducks of Oregon jumped out to a 48-17 lead over Arizona and held on as the Wildcats cut it to 48-45, leading to a cascade of boos for Mike “I’m only average and Jim Mora is going to kick my lame ass all over the field” Bellotti. It was reminiscent of the UA comeback last year at Husky Stadium that convinced everyone but the idiots in the Ivory Towers that Ty was done at UW. Alas, the Faders held on to win leaving the ducks in contention for a top minor bowl once again. Now 14 seasons and one BCS bowl for those scoring in Phil Knight’s luxury box. Insert Colleen Bellotti joke here.

Oregon State kept the Rose Bowl dream alive with a big win over Jeff Tedford’s Fading Bears. Mora is coming after you too, Jeff.

USC smoked Stanford in the 2nd half after making some key “adjustments” at halftime. I have no idea what that means, since I am a Husky fan.

It was a quiet week in college football as the tension builds for next week’s big slate of hate filled grudge matches. Emmert’s Dream Season of perfection is on the line at the Apple Cup. This is a dangerous game that UW might win by accident. Stay tuned.

Further words fail us as we ponder the empty stadium and hollow season that was bestowed upon us by President Fucking Football. Hang your head in shame, Dr. Emmert. And get Mora signed. That is only the start of what you owe us. You burned down the program and destroyed the legacy you inherited.

Shame.

Shame.

Shame.

WARNING: Adult language is contained in this post.

“There’s nothing new on the blog”

“There’s no podcast this week”

“My vagina itches”

These are the types of complaints that we are receiving these days as the long boring drawn out DeathWatch08 ambles to its preordained conclusion. I suppose we will now get complaints about the use of the word ‘vagina’ on our front page instead of at Fight Club where anything goes.

Well, anything goes out here too, as those poor souls unfortunate enough to disagree with yours truly find out in the obscenity filled crude replies that I give them in return for their insolence. It’s fine if you don’t agree with me, feel free to fuck off and die if you do. I’m easy like that. Not easy like Colleen Bellotti though. Did you know she once dumped a pot of hot coffee on me in the press box? I said I’d ‘try’ to not, well, you know the rest. Who knew soccer coaches and sportswriters had so much pull with chicks?

Where is this going besides straight to the gutter, you ask. Nowhere and that’s the point. There is nowhere to go that we haven’t been and nothing to say that we haven’t said. We are so brilliant that we have said it all and repeated it all and yet folks are still clamoring for more. If there is one thing we have found out it is that the search for the lowest common denominator when it comes to entertaiment is like the quest for the Fountain of Youth – it is endless and it cannot be found. If you listen to the Podcasts and have found Fight Club you know of what I speak. If you haven’t, then count yourself among the lucky ones.

Joe “Hanging” Schad of the ESPN family of networks reported that the UW is still pursuing Jim L. Mora and won’t take no for an answer. Scott Woodward is telling key boosters that UW will spare no expense and that they actually know who Jim L. Mora is this time. Ty Willingham is still fired. All this could add up to something special when Pat Hill is announced as our next coach.

Tim Ruskell is still screwing up the Seahawks. Mike Holmgren still hasn’t asked for a mulligan. Paul Allen still has bad teeth. All that could add up to Jim L. Mora having a FUCKING CONTRACT to coach the Hawks in 09.

Rumors swirl like the leaves in the autumn wind. That’s quality sports writing right there boys and girls. We still don’t trust Emmert and we still want Mora so bad our teeth hurt. What else can we say?

Meanwhile the Huskies continue to race to 0-12 and Rick Neuheisel returns to Husky Stadium and nobody gives a shit about either event. We used to joke about half empty Husky Stadium. We now have a real empty stadium. The program is dead and there is only one cure and it isn’t more cowbell. It’s Jim Fucking Mora, so hire him and announce it and let’s party for a week and get drunk on our lips and sing praises to the Scarf Twins and their brilliance.

OK?

Game Prediction

Olympia 57, Central Kitsap 12

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The fount of all wisdom. Tyrone Willingham, told the sideline reporter before the USC game that he inspired the troops with the tale of the Alamo. As I recall, everybody died. And our Huskies then went out and played like they were already dead as they dropped a 56-0 nail biter to the highly paid Trojans.

The results of the game showed the great wisdom of the Scarf Boyz, as they kept the allegedly fired Willingham on the sidelines in order to not orphan the student athletes who play football. It appears to this scribe that the players are more interested in patricide than football. Enough already, send out the clown. And let our orphans throw themselves upon the mercy of the court.

Tim Lapppanno’s high powered attack got a first down late in the 2nd quarter. I gave them a mock cheer from my easy chair. It was the Huskies first shut out loss since Gilby’s 1-10 team also got blanked by the Trojans. You can really see how much Ty has lifted the program here. What a great man. What an inspiration.

In other news, Jim L. Mora announced that he is not a candidate for the head coaching job at Oregon. A stunned Mike Bellotti said that as far as he knew, there was no opening at Oregon. Phil Knight was unavailable for comment as he was at a late night dinner with Jeff Tedford, and was overheard apologizing profusely  to Tedford for not offering him the head job when Cal came calling. It must be November as the ducks annual fade began with a loss to the Cal Bears. Next up for Cal is USC.

Oregon State hung on to beat the ASU Stun Devils, who are improving just in time to clown stomp the Huskies this week at abandoned Husky Stadium. WSU dropped a heartbreaker to Stanford, 58-0. “I think we’re doing a lot of good things that just don’t show up on the scoreboard” explained Paul Wullff, the Cougar head man who is rumored to be at the top of Mark Emmert’s list for the next Husky coach.

Fire Mack Brown. All he does is go 11-1 every year. And it’s that 1 that drives the Horn fans crazy. Seriously, fire him. That’s the kind of just fired coach I would welcome at Montlake. Texas Tech and the Horns hooked up in a classic that once again reminds us how great college football is and how long it’s been since the Blunder Twins have given us any. Next up for Tech is Mike “I’m a man and I’m 40 and I want to puke” Gundy, and his Oklahoma State Cowboys, the best team you never see. Watch.

As Barry Switzer was being run from OU and college football, Nebraska was gearing up for the mid 90′s last run for Tom Osborne, raiding half way houses and prisons across America for recruits that would win back to back national titles. Along the way they crushed some Gibbs, Schnellenberger, and Blake Oklahoma teams by embarrassing margins. Payback was a 62 point beatdown by the Sooner machine last night.

Florida smashed Georgia in yet another SEC blowout game of the week. Bama meets LSU this week in the latest don’t miss SEC TV game. The whining about the celebration penalty last year that Georgia got was exceeded only by the number of hotties that love the camera at SEC games.

Michigan will miss a bowl for the first time in 33 years and have their first losing season since Noah built his ark. Sounds like they need the “Program Builder”, Ty Willingham to save them.

The Mora Revolution is alive and Mora can be had, but our fate rests in the hands of a couple of guys who wear scarves and think that hiring Ty was a good idea. In the interests of not over reacting, let’s just say, Give us Mora or give us your own heads on a platter. 

I was actually listening to John Clayton, a longtime scoffer and doubter of the Mora Revolution, as he expressed his opinion today that UW could have Mora for 4 million a year. That back channel communication has gone on and Mora signaled that UW just needed to step up.

We know that money is not an issue. UW really can’t afford not to spend that when you consider the return that will come to build the new Husky Stadium. Boosters will step up. Emmert waves his scarf and it comes back filled with millions. It could be done.

Why won’t it be done? Because UW does not want to repeat the Neuheisel hire and have one of the very highest paid coaches in the land because that says they care a whole lot about football. And UW does not want to say that, because they don’t care than much about football. If they do  care that much it gets the local media and the upper campus all hot and bothered about the over emphasis on football and how that money could better be used to help the brain damaged callers to KJR radio.

Don’t let anyone tell you we couldn’t or can’t get Mora. We could and we can. If we don’t it is because we didn’t want to.

And now we are left to have the man who hired Ty and blew the chance to get Mora at a lower rate to make the call. The man who needed Nick Saban to tell him who Pat Hill was. The man who has presided over 12 wins in his 5 years at UW.

The Football President.

Be afraid, be very afraid. And tell Marky Mark we still want Mora.