Nick “No Ordinary Joe” Montana pledged his verbal love to the University of Washington and new coach Steve Sarkisian. The story broke first at www.damonesdrunkfatherinlaw.com and was picked up by news outlets accross the nation including the secret Husky HalfBrains message board, then by the Seattle Times and finally by Dawgman.com and RealDawg, the two premier pay sites for Husky recruiting news. We kid because we’re dicks like that.

Montana was relieved to get his decision out of the way and commented, “please tell that bitch to stop texting me..” as he hopped onto his private jet for a little “me time” on the French Riviera. No PR man or press conference was required for the son of the legendary NFL quarterback to garner front page interest accross the nation with the news of his commit to the trashed UW program.

Hopefully a first step back to the limelight for the Husky Faithful who have suffered lo these many years under the inept brand of EmmertBall forced upon them by the feckless leader and worthless human being, Mark Emmert.

What, you thought he’d avoid abuse for this? It’s in the contract. Every story. 0-12 will not be forgotten until we go 12-0 again.

An atta boy for Sark for this one and let’s hope it leads to bigger and better things, like linemen and stuff.

The Jake Heaps era has come to a merciful end before it started as the Skyline Superstar chose to matriculate on down the field to BYU after he completes his high school career this fall. Heaps was said to have narrowed his choice down to BYU or the hometown Huskies of Emmert U.

Your humble correspondent has long said that Heaps was not the key to this class since I am tired of quarterback saviors already after a mere two years of King Jake the First. I have nothing against Locker, I just remind our readers that this site was the first to compare Locker to John Elway, who never played in a bowl game at Stanford. The Husky way is not to hype a QB, it is to build two solid lines and have a killer D.

So I am not inclined to lay this at Sark’s feet, although you may if you wish since Heaps was widely considered to be the state’s top recruit. Was he a must get? Well he’s gone now so I guess he wasn’t. The challenge now for our Boy Coach is to complete this class with great linemen and defenders and to pull some So Cal talent and finish among the upper crust of the Pac 10 when it is all added up. We’ll be watching for you so you don’t have to.

I am always up for blaming Emmert the Idiot for any and all things and this one fits upon his pointy little head if one wants. Keeping Ty for his epic 0-12 campaign did no favors to anyone other than Emmert himself, and made sure that Sark started from the back of the pack in the race for Heaps.

It may just be that the pull of the Angel Moroni was too much for anyone to compete with and that young Jake has followed his heart to where he wants to be.

But don’t try to tell us that Sark gets credit for being in 2nd place, or first loser. That is meaningless and stupid and merely continues the saga of stupidity that engulfs this once proud program. It is like the dying English Empire celebrating failure after failure as they careened drunkenly off the world stage to their place as our bitch.

Winners win and closers close. So far Sark has done nothing in the things we can measure, few though they be, to be fair. But more measurables are to come and measure we will and while others may cling to excuses and low expectations, we will continue to call for Mighty Britannia to rule the seas once again and accept nothing less as worthy of any praise and give failure nothing but the scorn it deserves.

Fall camp is a mere couple of months away. Tick fucking tock…er…tick….tick….tick….