The USC Trojans chose Lane Kiffin as their new head coach after Steve Sarkisian did not turn them down because he had no contact with the university. Lane and his beautiful wife Layla managed to escape from Tennessee alive and were greeted as returning heroes at the USC campus.

Kiffin brought along his papa Monte to run the defense and word is that Norm Chow will rejoin the Trojans to run the offense. Ed “Wife Beater” Orgeron will run the recruiting rackets in So Cal for the Trojanaletti Family.

USC looks to be back in business in record time after the abrupt departure of former legend, Pete Carroll to his retirement home in Seattle. The Trojan brass showed what a real football school does when confronted with an unplanned coaching change – go steal the best head coach you can and let the loser school cry and whine about how unfair life is. No promoting of an unqualified assistant or hiring of an unproven assistant for USC.

Tennessee is left with the task of stealing their own coach and saving their top recruiting class that Kiffin had put together there.

Many scribes and internets columnists will be busy bemoaning the horror of it all, talking about loyalty and honor in a profession that has none of the above.

Fans will stop talking about which players need to be run off to make room for new top recruits long enough to rip Lane for leaving his players at this time after only one year. Fans will stop calling for their coach to be fired long enough to wonder why coaches don’t show more loyalty to their schools.

Jim L. Mora will tell anyone who listens what loyalty will get you. As will Phil Fulmer. Urban Meyer will have one less headache. Tennessee fans will riot in the streets. USC will reload the cupboard. Life will go on.

And Steve Sarkisian will continue to not have contact with other schools when openings come up after this season. I guess we should applaud our internets fan base for their new found maturity in accepting that even our coach will lie about contact and it isn’t the end of the world as long as he stays. Until we want to fire him.

I have no real interest in the head coaching job at USC at this time as I write this probably for sure, maybe, no, I guess I’m not really interested.

Most likely.

This is my dream job and who wouldn’t want to live in this dank, dark, hole of a wet nightmare city, Seattle. My work here has just begun and I am excited about the coming season with Jack Lockner.

If I can squeeze enough wins out of him, then the Arizona State job that will be open next year looks awfully attractive to me. Did I write that or just think it?

I’m honored that USC did not contact me directly and I have no interest in the job even if they did call my agent. Huh?