Mark Emmert is a big thinker with big ideas and big plans. He is not satisfied with ruining one college football program, not when he has a chance to ruin the entire fucking NCAA. Why do it one at a time when you can get them all at once?

Dr. Mark Emmert, the best President the University of Washington has ever had because you can’t blame him for anything bad, is leaving the UW for the job of President of the NCAA. At almost double the salary! Proof once more that the Peter Priniciple is relentless in its rewarding of mediocrity.

What, the Nobel Prize wasn’t available?

The smart money is selling short on NCAA futures as we see 6 years down the road to a time when the major conferences form their own alliance to replace the NCAA, soon to be a shadow of its former self with a beleaugered Mark Emmert mumbling about grad rates and doing it the right way.

Emmert backers were quick to give him credit for the recent billions of dollars earned for the TV rights to the basketball tournament.

“Just the rumor that he might take the job was enough,” commented Ken Grimolds, “and if anything goes wrong, you can’t blame Mark because his hands were tied and he really cares.”

Emmert leaves a mixed legacy behind at the UW. Was he bad or was he really bad? Academics are in a shambles as the Legislature has slashed funding, staff has been fired, and students have borne a heavy tuition hike. But there was the fund raising campaign that started 4 years before he got here that he gets full credit for.

“Just the rumor that he might take the job was enough,” commented Ken Grimolds, “and if anything goes wrong, you can’t blame Mark because his hands were tied and he really cares.”

Emmert came in promising to fix the “Front Porch” of the UW, the football program. He did face a daunting task in 2004, since the program hadn’t had a losing season since 1976. Emmert fixed that right away as his first year saw the Dawgs go 1-10.

Emmert would go on to oversee a 17-54 record over his tenure, highlighted by his enthusiastic hiring of Ty Willingham which culminated in a 0-12 season in 2008, Ty’s hard earned 4th year as head coach.

But seriously, we’re just talking about football. I mean, it’s football, not academics, but football. Not the classroom work that we love and slave over, but football. Football?

PLAYOFFS!?

Emmert did come through at the end hiring the unproven yet exciting Steve Sarkisian to go 5-7, matching the high water win mark of the Emmert Era. Alas, a bowl game proved to be elusive, but don’t blame Emmert.

“Just the rumor that he might take the job was enough,” commented Ken Grimolds, “and if anything goes wrong, you can’t blame Mark because his hands were tied and he really cares.”

The dude cared. Who the fuck are you to criticize? He cared. Dammit, he cared. Leave Brittany alone!